How to talk to your partner about condoms!

Deciding to have sex, either for the first time or with a new person, is always a big decision. The most important thing you can do when you’ve decided to take it to the next level is to communicate with your partner! It takes two people to consent to having sex and two people to prevent STDs and pregnancy.

Talking with your partner about your choice to use condoms can be hard. Here are some tips to get the conversation started and overcome some of the most common arguments.

  1. Start by getting familiar with condoms. Knowing how to use one with your partner can help you overcome any fears and keep your partner from saying something like “I don’t know how to use one, so let’s just skip it” conversation.
  2. Your partner may say, “but you’re (I’m) on the pill!” Let them know that the pill can only protect you from getting pregnant, and will not stop you from getting an STD or HIV. For LGBT people, pregnancy may not be a concern. But remember, any time you are choosing to have sex, condoms are important to protect against STDs and HIV.
  3. This may lead to a question of “Don’t you trust me?” Let them know that you trust them, but that this will be the safest way to protect BOTH of you, since many STDs don’t show symptoms. You can go get tested together! Going together to a local clinic can help build trust in your relationship.  
  4. Then there is the famous “if you love me” then you wouldn’t need to wear one. But this goes both ways. If they love you back, they will accept your decision to use a condom, respect your desire to keep you both safe and healthy, and understand that you won’t have sex until they do.

When the time comes and you are ready to have sex, your partner may say that they don’t have any condoms. Come prepared with some condoms of your own or suggest that you go to the store and get them together.  This way you can select the ones that will work best for both of you. Worried about how you will afford the condoms you need? Not sure where to get them? Get free condoms here!

There are many excuses a partner may use to keep condoms out of the equation when having sex. Be prepared and comfortable with your possible responses to make sure your voice is heard and respected. 

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This blog was reposted from, a project of Essential Access Health. is an online hub for comprehensive and teen-friendly information on birth control, STDs, relationships and teen’s rights to accessing sensitive services. The site features youth-developed blogs and videos, a clinic finder, a Condom Access Project and links to TeenSource social media where youth can stay updated on relevant sexual and reproductive health information and news.

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