If you are at a stage when you’re ready to get close with someone - it’s really important to talk about what you really like and what you definitely don’t want to do – and everything in between. Having these conversations can make us nervous or embarrassed and it’s hard to know how to even begin!
Here are some tips on how to start the convo:
Make a game of it!
Both of you should come up with a “Yes/No/Maybe list” and then compare your lists. There might be a few surprise “yeses” that will spice things up! And don’t forget: Don’t yuck someone’s yum. If your partner has a “yes” that you feel a firm “no” on, don’t make them feel bad about it! Have a conversation about it and learn more about where they are coming from.
Share your dreams to make them reality!
Before things really heat upyou can both share what you are looking forward to. Not only does this help set the mood, it also helps define the behaviors you’re up for! Consent is Sexy + Safe and a really important part of this discussion.
Make up code words or signals!
Sometimes it’s easier to use codes or signals to express yourself. Have fun and make up a code or signal to communicate with your partner how you’re feeling about what’s going on as things proceed.
Go flag your partner down and try out these tips!
Remember: Everyone’s allowed to change their minds about what they want and what they don’t want. If you decide today is the day you want to try something new, tell your partner! If you decide that thing you tried last time is just not for you? Tell your partner! And always listen to what your partner has to say, no one wants to be bullied or pressured into something they’re not comfortable with or shamed about how they feel. If someone says no, then that means no.
Also don’t forget that there are resources to help you make healthy decisions. Check out these great resources if you need Free Condoms or need to Find A Clinic where you could access free, confidential and non-judgmental teen health services.
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This blog was reposted from TeenSource.org, a project of Essential Access Health. TeenSource.org is an online hub for comprehensive and teen-friendly information on birth control, STDs, relationships and teen’s rights to accessing sensitive services. The site features youth-developed blogs and videos, a clinic finder, a Condom Access Project and links to TeenSource social media where youth can stay updated on relevant sexual and reproductive health information and news.